Picking My Poison

"I forgot how chatty you used to be," said Mr. Wild Dingo. What is it they say about medicine? The dose makes the poison? Pick your poison Mr. Wild Dingo: chatty me or taciturn me?

So things have literally been up and down like a roller coaster ride on high speed. This is a good thing because now Mr. Wild Dingo is less frustrated with me. Unlike the long term constant fatigue and inability to do much of anything for weeks and months on end, I now have many hours during the day of functionality. Mr. Wild Dingo can see the good days and the bad days more acutely now. They happen so quickly, he doesn't forget what things were like when I'm either normal or sick because the ups and downs happen within a day or even in the same day. It's wacky and fascinating at the same time to see such peaks and valleys like this turn on a dime. When I'm feeling fine, I can get stuff done: I'll catch up on laundry, walk the dogs, do some yoga, clean the stove (desperately needed that), garden, go out to dinner with friends or I'll make a three course dinner like I used to do.  I'm also putting my writing portfolio together because I'm actually hoping to go back to work again. So now I'm sure he doesn't assume I'm just lazin' around playing the sick card. Because, THAT'S so fun.  But seriously, when you see a person act like this in quick extremes, it's much easier to understand the disease. 

This month I was focused back on Babesia, taking anti-malarial prescriptions meds plus ozone treatments which made me feel amazing. The last appointment, my doctor added in one more antibiotic to make the other meds work better and lower inflammation, as well as adding in Artemesian, which is a powerful anti-malarial herb. The artemesian definitely triggered a die off reaction which I quickly countered with ozone and multiple detox treatments. But over time, the artemsian or the meds messed up my GI so badly I couldn't eat for days. So I stopped off all meds and killing herbs to get my GI back in shape. I've been just focusing on detox treatments which I live for. Every single time I do a good long detox and/or ozone treatment, which is almost daily, it puts me into a functional space for most of the day. People don't suspect for a minute that I'm sick when I've done a ton of detox that day. I'm also back to my ridiculously chatty self. On the other hand, without the "killing" medicine, by the end of the day, my headaches, dizziness, breathing problems return and if I'm not careful, I can even have a short temper tantrum which is part of the fun of Lyme disease. I never was one for rage outbursts especially being married to the ultimate imperturbable Mr. Wild Dingo. Nothing ruffles the feathers of Zen Master Mr. Wild Dingo--even my irrational rages. On the rare occasion he does get angry, it's entertaining and I may or may not laugh hysterically (but that's another story). Lyme disease does something strange to your personality. It can literally make you two different people. Heck it can probably make you 77 different people. Stealth pathogens are the devil. I can literally feel the inflammation in my head build and with the addition of light and sound, it can trigger unbridled rage. Thankfully I can see them coming and just give myself a quiet time out, even if it means going to bed at 7 PM.

Signs of a good day include being able to spend some time out in the bright sun with the pups. I did go home that night with a nasty headache, tinnitus and POTS (dizziness, fatigue) but at least I got to spend most of the day getting stuff done and being out in the warm sun. While Lyme seems to be still dormant and not my biggest problem, I still struggle with Babesia, the red blood cell pathogen. Because it went so long undiagnosed, it can be just as stealth as Lyme, hiding out in the bone marrow, as my doctor suggested. It makes my blood super thick and coagulated, which can be dangerous for strokes or other vascular conditions and it makes a lot of sense why I get dizzy (POTS), breathing issues and headaches. I can literally feel when my blood feels thick or is oxygenated and thin. For example, when I do an ozone treatment, I can do a nice 30-45 minute yoga practice then a ton of chores.  I continue to take blood thinners to minimize risks associated with very thick blood along with ozone it helps tremendously. I know what you're thinking: do MORE ozone! Nope. Can't do that. Doing too much ozone can also trigger a nasty herxheimer reaction. Believe me, I tried it. Was down for a day when I doubled my dose.  It's all a learning curve.  But the ozone itself, feels quite nice every single time I do it. I feel light, happy and gives me just a bit of energy.

Sometimes I feel I'm 25% close to the finish line. Other times I feel like I'm never going to cross it. It gets really hard when your body cannot take the killing herbs or meds anymore. At this point, being off meds for three weeks and seeing my doctor this week, I have no idea where I'm going to go next if I can't keep treating the Babesia with meds. I feel stuck but at the same time I'm optimistic. After all, I'm a hella-va-lot better than I was 4 years ago. I'm merely battling just a few vascular symptoms rather than 40+ symptoms I once had. My joints feel great, especially after ozone and my yoga practice is amazingly easy for me, unlike last year when I went off heavy meds and tried to resume some normalcy. Even then, without all the meds, I struggled doing the simplest yoga poses. My joints were still so stuck and I worked so hard on poses I could do when I was 11 years old and still couldn't accomplish them. And now, without much work, I can get into those same poses quite easily. My muscle strength needs work, but my joint mobility is right back to where to used to be before I got tremendously sick. While I don't think ozone is a cure for everything, I do think it's a fantastic tool to get you through the harshness of aggressively treating Lyme whether a person uses herbs or pharmaceuticals. It definitely relieves the ick that comes along with treating Lyme-MSIDS.