The Bay Area housing crisis has finally affected Fairies. Fairy condominium complexes have sprung up all over Santa Cruz Mountains in tight locations trying to pack in as many fairies as possible. If you’re looking for Fairies, here’s a brilliant, highly-scientific article about finding fairies nearby with excellent advice for how conduct yourselves among fairies.
For example, did you know you must be spiritually connected to Mother Earth to find fairies? If you are a skeptic or non-believer, or have ill intentions, they will not show themselves to you. If you do not care for the well-being of the earth, they will also not show themselves to you. When they do show themselves, never say “thank you” as those aren’t words in their vocabulary and it may offend them. Also, if you see a fairy ring, you should never step into it or they will trap you and you will lose your mind. Wow. There’s just so much I don’t know about Fairies!
Based on the Fairy Facts found in this real news article, this new US Administration with its roll-back of climate change policies and the EPA is no friend of Fairies. The Fairies are pissed! I’d be scared. Fairy retaliation is a bitch. Maybe we’ll get lucky and 45 will step into a Fairy ring.
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"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."