I can't help it. I'm fascinated with tiny flowers. Perhaps because I've never given them a second glance on my hikes. My fascination happened when I was learning to use my telephoto lens on close-ups. I was blown away by the details in the smallest of flowers. And the variation of color! Nature fascinates me. All my photos are done in a dark forest, with no lighting accessories. When the sun is hitting the flower just right, the colors can pop against a dark background.
Taken a year ago, the above photo reminds me of coming to grips with losing things I’d been passionate about, like my yoga practice. Lyme disease can make a person indifferent to enjoyable things because it takes up so much space in daily living. There's no time or energy left for your previous passions. On the other hand, my many years of yoga practice, leading up to all of this, has enabled me to accept my present, let go of things I love and focus on what’s important. So while I'm not depressed about losing my practice or things I love, it's a reminder of who I used to be and who I am now. When my body can move without massive pain, I get on the mat and practice. It is what it is.
This week, I’m back on the mat for the first time in two months. If next week I’m not on the mat due to Lyme’s symptom du-jour, that will be OK too. Recovering from chronic Lyme disease is just another path to finding balance and peace and above all, maintaining a sense of humor.
I'm really happy to be back to my Lymie self after those hard few weeks. Being off the Lyme meds for a few weeks was a huge wake up call to just how bad this infection is in my body. I hit a pretty bad crash and was fairly unfunctional. It's bad enough as I am right this moment, having so many limitations, but at least I can do my photo hobby, play chef in the kitchen, write a little bit, and go for my short dog walks and the occasional long dog walk.
And that makes Juno extra happy. Lyme disease causes more than just it's victim to suffer. All the family members suffer when one is so disabled. Juno's passionate about adventures and new places. Lyme took that away from her. It breaks my heart but they're coping and doing a great job at being my best friends.
My favorite legend of the Forget Me Nots is about a chivalrous knight who walked along a river with his lady and picked a bouquet for his sweetheart. His armor was so heavy he fell into the river. As the river carried him away drowning, he threw the bouquet to his lady and shouted “Forget me not!” Is it wrong that this legend cracks me up?
So tiny. Only the size of my pinky nail. Growing wild on the trails in our back yard. Maybe if I grow them closer to the house they'll help me with all the memory loss!