Loki’s foster mom, Cindy, emailed me today. She asked me to apologize to Loki for accusing him of taking all the shampoo bottles out of the tub. It turns out her own dog, Lupin, had just been caught in the act of the very same alleged misdemeanor last night. And she was sorry that she blamed him and felt she was wrong to assume it was Loki. Um, Cindy, are you sure about that?
Could they have collaborated on the infraction? After hours of interrogation, neither defendant is talking. We’ll never know who the conspirator was and who the accessory to the crime was. Evidence is circumstantial and the case will likely get thrown out.
Although Loki, in the above photo, is shown with a different shampoo bottle, he issued the following statement: “Terribly concerned with the environment, I’m taking matters into my own paws and embracing today’s recycling ideals. Reduce, reuse, recycle. I’m simply reusing this bottle as an appropriately tasty toy.”
I disclosed the unsolved case to the conspiracy theorist experts, who came up with this theory:
"The local bank is a front for the evil works of Lupin. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to hide the shampoo bottles. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Cindy to Julie have been caught out. Only Scott has seen through the scam, which is why Loki, in cahoots with Lupin, is trying to end canine bathing with a view to putting an end to Scott. "