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This is a Story of...MURDER!

This is a Story of...MURDER!

March 8, 2011
Posted in: Totally Random | Reading Time: 3 minutes

I'm no green thumb. It's true. But since I'm now cooking quite heavily and enjoy using fresh herbs over dried, TravelMarx encouraged me to try caring for and growing some herbs, because what's the worst that can happen, right? I mean, I've had the dogs for almost three years now and for better or worse, they seem to be pretty healthy. So I went to the local SPCA (Swiss Plants of Coop Association) to rescue a few herbs. As I decided on Rosemary, Basil and Parsley, I carefully considered their health and temperament before making my choice and handing over my donation. Temperament was a big factor in my choice. After all, I didn't want an aggressive Rosemary or an unmotivated Basil.

We repotted them and Mr. Wild Dingo, being a better gardner than me, decided he would care for them, along with his bamboo plant that he rescued for himself  a few months earlier.

Then Mr. Wild Dingo went to China for 10 days. He told me not to give them any water and that they would be fine without any attention. But one day I walked into the dining room and saw this:

My three rescued beautiful herbs were dead, or worse: MURDERED! Who? What? How?

Of the three plants, the least likly to survive an act of crime, the Basil, was still barely alive, and hanging on. Unfortunately, he was in no condition to talk or name his assailant. However I'd like to point out, that, Mr. Wild Dingo's baby, his plant,  the Bamboo, was and still is alive and healthy.

Hm.  A mystery indeed.  But whodunit? Let's consider the suspects.

Could it be Juno Belle Johpurs? After all she is a Siberian. Siberians are known to be Natural Born Criminals. And she has a mile-long rap sheet. Still, murdering plants doesn't seem to be her M.O. In fact, her M.O. is pretty much restricted to Masticatory Offenses.

Could it be the GSFMD Retardo Montelban, aka: Loki? I'm not sure many living creatures outside of the three of us could tolerate his non-stop "Arrgghhh" demanding chatter day in and day out. It's enough to drive anyone to eternal rest a little earlier than planned. Still, he has neither the motive nor the mentals to hatch such a plan.

What about this guy, Mr. Wild Dingo? After all, his Bamboo is still alive. He did admit to using extra soil left over from re-potting his Bamboo plant, which is specific for Bamboos. And he did tell me not to water them for 10 days (which I did anyway, because I never listen to him).  These days, Mr. Wild Dingo is toying with a farming idea for our property back in California. But I'm thinking he should stick to baby steps. Lets try to grow some herbs in a pot before we engage in bigger ventures.

Or could it be me, Wild Dingo? After all,I have a few priors with plant killing. It's true. Was it the language I used when I talked to them? Perhaps saying things like "You are going to taste delicious in my tomato sauce" or "I can't wait to chop you up for a wine braising sauce" doesn't promote optimal plant growth.

OR was this all just a clever ruse to play with the settings on my new camera? Or simply an excuse to re-print that classic photo of Mr. Wild Dingo?

This may be one mystery that remains unsolved. But it can't hurt to make a few changes in my language around plants.

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18 comments on “This is a Story of...MURDER!”

  1. Oh you would never have a hidden agenda to show off your new camera or the classic MWD photo. Obviously something very bad has gone down there and you must solve the mystery. Could it have been the bamboo?


  2. Sorry about the ... plant deaths...
    BUTT if it will get me another look at my FAVORITE pic of Mr. W.D.... I say it was well worth it!!!

  3. This is such a funny post.

    Could well be your language around the plants that made them turn up their leaves! Have you read a book called "the secret life of plants" Fascinating book, you will never look at plants the same again http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_Life_of_Plants

    On another note have you thought about growing your own red wine vinegar? Its great, you feed it red wine and it turns it into vinegar!! I know its a shame its not the other way round but really its worth ago. Or white wine 🙂

  4. HHHmmmmmmm. Loki didn't do it -- he looks too innocent. So does MWD - at least in that photo - and the cone of shame whold have prevented his getting close enough. Ms. Juno appears disinterested. That leaves.... Maybe MWD didn't put them min a sunny enough spot? Otherwise... naw...

  5. Oh no! Those poor herbs. Let us allow a moment of silence as we mourn their loss.

    Now, did someone say tomato sauce? Mmmm.... I think it's time we move on and get another batch. No better way to mourn a loss than to replace it right?

    Btw, Momma-1 thinks that the setting on the third photo is bootiful. I am just indignant there are no photos of afore-mentioned tomato sauce.


  6. Well, being one who is ALWAYS looking for an excuse to take pictures, I think that you might possibly be guilty. However, I think you've missed another possible suspect: Me. Seriously. I don't just have a black thumb, I have a toxic thumb. I have been known to kill artificial plants. Our best friend comes over to prune our bushes/trees (the ones Abby hasn't gotten to, that is) because I am not allowed within 15 feet of any living plants. (Surprisingly, I don't seem to have this issue with animals.) I think there is a very distinct possibility that simply by visiting your blog and sending you messages, my toxic thumb has traveled through the interwebs and killed your plants. Sorry about that. 😉

    And if you move back to California, I'd suggest that you not plant a garden, because Utah isn't that far from California, and my toxicity could very easily hop I-80 and kill everything you plant. Just saying...

    And if you think I'm kidding, just ask my husband. He refuses to buy me flowers because he's certain that I'll kill them just by looking at them. (And he says that in the nicest possible way, incidentally. Nor does he use that as an excuse to not buy me goodies for my birthday - he just stays away from plant-matter...)

    -Dr. Liz (who is CLEARLY not a botanist; the girls, on the other hand, are very happy to prune the bushes with no ill effect to either plant or dog...)

  7. I don't even want to think of what the Mister Wild Dingo is trying to scratch that he's not supposed to which forces him to wear the cone of shame!

  8. We are cracking up at that comment above ours:) Maybe Col. Mustard was jealous that he didn't make his way into your herbary.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  9. hahahahaah. I think Mango is right and it was Mr Wild Dingo's bamboo!

    I started a go at gardening last year... herbs and salad greens... my basil never made it, but the salad greens and the rest of the herbs did well for the season! keep trying!

  10. RIP poor plants...I don't have a green thumb either and always apologize to the plants we try to make work out around here. Poor things.

  11. My theory is that it was a marauding squirrel who framed Mr. Wild Dingo! I don't believe for a minute that Loki or Juno did it -- not because they aren't capable, but because it doesn't seem like a crime that they'd commit.

    Hee hee! Morgan's graduation night is tonight. I know that's she's hubby's girl, but I'll stay home, just to be sure! 😛 I just have to needle him about it!

  12. How dare woo even khonsider it was the innocent huzzy - I mean HUSKY!


  13. Hmmmm, I'm not real sure about this one. Our human isn't much of a green thumb either.


  14. Mama shares Dr. Liz's toxic thumb, so we have no practical advice and can only shake our heads in sorrow for your loss. You can give them a decent burial in what we presume is your new compost heap. Now that Mr. WD is home, maybe he can try again? After all, he voluntarily assumed full responsibility, so let him have it.

    Jed & Abby

  15. I think that you used HBO words around the plants, and it did them in.

    Play them pretty music and they'll perk right up!

    BTW, there is hope for plant murderers. I used to kill every plant in my vicinity. Then, I read a bunch of books about veggy and herb gardening, and some of the plants stay alive and even thrive each year!

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