I'm no green thumb. It's true. But since I'm now cooking quite heavily and enjoy using fresh herbs over dried, TravelMarx encouraged me to try caring for and growing some herbs, because what's the worst that can happen, right? I mean, I've had the dogs for almost three years now and for better or worse, they seem to be pretty healthy. So I went to the local SPCA (Swiss Plants of Coop Association) to rescue a few herbs. As I decided on Rosemary, Basil and Parsley, I carefully considered their health and temperament before making my choice and handing over my donation. Temperament was a big factor in my choice. After all, I didn't want an aggressive Rosemary or an unmotivated Basil.
We repotted them and Mr. Wild Dingo, being a better gardner than me, decided he would care for them, along with his bamboo plant that he rescued for himself a few months earlier.
Then Mr. Wild Dingo went to China for 10 days. He told me not to give them any water and that they would be fine without any attention. But one day I walked into the dining room and saw this:
My three rescued beautiful herbs were dead, or worse: MURDERED! Who? What? How?
Of the three plants, the least likly to survive an act of crime, the Basil, was still barely alive, and hanging on. Unfortunately, he was in no condition to talk or name his assailant. However I'd like to point out, that, Mr. Wild Dingo's baby, his plant, the Bamboo, was and still is alive and healthy.
Hm. A mystery indeed. But whodunit? Let's consider the suspects.
Could it be Juno Belle Johpurs? After all she is a Siberian. Siberians are known to be Natural Born Criminals. And she has a mile-long rap sheet. Still, murdering plants doesn't seem to be her M.O. In fact, her M.O. is pretty much restricted to Masticatory Offenses.
Could it be the GSFMD Retardo Montelban, aka: Loki? I'm not sure many living creatures outside of the three of us could tolerate his non-stop "Arrgghhh" demanding chatter day in and day out. It's enough to drive anyone to eternal rest a little earlier than planned. Still, he has neither the motive nor the mentals to hatch such a plan.
What about this guy, Mr. Wild Dingo? After all, his Bamboo is still alive. He did admit to using extra soil left over from re-potting his Bamboo plant, which is specific for Bamboos. And he did tell me not to water them for 10 days (which I did anyway, because I never listen to him). These days, Mr. Wild Dingo is toying with a farming idea for our property back in California. But I'm thinking he should stick to baby steps. Lets try to grow some herbs in a pot before we engage in bigger ventures.
Or could it be me, Wild Dingo? After all,I have a few priors with plant killing. It's true. Was it the language I used when I talked to them? Perhaps saying things like "You are going to taste delicious in my tomato sauce" or "I can't wait to chop you up for a wine braising sauce" doesn't promote optimal plant growth.
OR was this all just a clever ruse to play with the settings on my new camera? Or simply an excuse to re-print that classic photo of Mr. Wild Dingo?
This may be one mystery that remains unsolved. But it can't hurt to make a few changes in my language around plants.
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Thanks for the love!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."