When I came home last night, Mr. Wild Dingo told me the dogs found a King Snake under an old oak stump near our
weed field sitting area.
So I asked him, "Does he live there or was he passing through?"
Mr. Wild Dingo's all, "you know, I didn't ask him."
Yes, Internet, these are really the conversations we have in our house. You see, what I meant to ask, but couldn't quite articulate was: why was the snake there? They don't usually stay where they aren't welcomed ---like around two barking
lunatics dogs. But I had a ton of groceries and dinner to make so I let the conversation go.
So this morning, Mr. Wild Dingo comes inside and tells me, "The snake's still there."
And this is when I knew something wasn't right. So I asked him "Do you think the snake is stuck?"
And sure enough at closer look this is what we saw. The poor baby California Mountain King snake was stuck in some stupid old landscape netting that hadn't yet disintegrated as it should have. Poor thing was really wedged in that netting in multiple places. It seems the dogs must have heard him trying to escape and came over only to make him dig himself further into the netting the night before. Damn!
"Mr. Wild Dingo, this is Independence day. We have to free him."
Internet I was fully expecting a litnay on how many more screws must have loosened in my head to suggest that idea but he only just stood there, in deep thought. "Well, you have to hold his head," he tells me.
I'm all, "I'd totally do that but who's going to take the pictures? No. This is something for a hero to go it alone. I'm no hero. I just document heroic acts."
So off to the garage went Mr. Wild Dingo to get scissors, gardening sheers and gloves. And I went up to the house to get the camera and some hair cutting shears for the delicate work.
Little by little, Mr. Wild Dingo started to snip away at the twine. At first the snake was super pissed off and coiled and resisted. My friend Sylvie always told me how to talk rationally to dogs and help them understand and calm down when they were anxious. So I tried it on the snake. I coo'd the snake in a baby voice: "It's OK Buddy! You're gonna be alright! We're just trying to help. We're going to cut these silly twines and you'll be free in no time."
And wouldn't you know, it worked! He's so happy, he's trying to give me a kiss!
"Eeeek! Eeegads! Gross!" I know exactly what you're thinking Internet! Those hairy arms HAVE to go!
At one point Mr. Wild Dingo got a little impatient and tried Plan B, to pull him back out. The snake didn't care too much for that plan.
So back to Plan A it was, snipping away slowly at the twines and twigs. And believe it or not, that darn snake figured it out and stopped resisting, stopped moving and just let us go to work.
Either that or he couldn't stand to look at Mr. Wild Dingo's hairy arms one second longer and hid his head back in the leaves.
At one point the King Snake looked back, "Hey, don't take too much off the top," he tells Mr. Wild Dingo.
And with one final snip, he was free.
Internet, you gotta love a guy who carries out my hairbrained ideas. We at Wild Dingo believe in Life, Liberty and the pursuit of field mice!
*NB: we removed all netting right after this last shot.
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Let me know how the pups and I can love ya back!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."