writer, warrior, whack-a-doodle

Another One Bites the Dust

Another One Bites the Dust

November 28, 2009
Posted in: Dogs | Reading Time: 3 minutes

DSC03615O.K. dog owners out there, I think you need to decide how to fix this situation. Should I be given a chocolate covered pomegranate every time I put my shoes away before I leave the house or should I be given a correction on the prong collar or e-collar when I forget to put my shoes away when I leave the house?

I didn't learn my lesson last summer. Nor did I learn it this October, or the following day. Juno has a thing for destruction and eating things, like Mini Coopers. I never posted what she did to my office once. Moldings, door jams, my beloved moleskin journals, all toasted.

In my defense, I was only going to the store which is about 90 seconds away from me by car. (No I can't walk to it, it's too rough terrain, seriously.)  And I was only going to be 5 minutes, which I've done before without her noticing, so it's generally safe to do. But gee, it's Thanksgiving and everyone in this country, you know, stops what they're doing and eats and lounges all day long. So of course the corner market wouldn't be open. So I had to drive all the way into town.

Yes, it was necessary. Mr. Wild Dingo happened to be coming back from a business trip on Thanksgiving. And, gasp! There was NO beer in the house. Jet Lag without beer is not to be trifled with at House of Dingo, so yes, it was necessary. Thank dogs I live in a state that sells beer in grocery stores, that has 24-hour supermarkets open on holidays. That's all I have to say about that.

So not only did I leave her in the entire house (usually, they're confined to mudroom, office and dog yard when I leave) but I left a pair of leather Dansko's out. I had just relegated them to my yard shoes because I stepped in poo. I washed them and decided to retire them to the yard for good. I left them in the mudroom to finish drying. Juno decided that yard retirement wasn't good enough and needed to demote them further.

So I sacraficed a decent pair of Dansko's for Mr. Wild Dingo's beer. I'm thinkin' that elevates my status at any given time of my choosing.


 "Ut oh Cupcake. You're in soooooo much trouble!"
"I know this looks bad. But the evidence is circumstantial."


"Ok, maybe I did. But its a sickness I tell ya. I need help. Guilty by reason of mastacatory insanity."

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16 comments on “Another One Bites the Dust”

  1. Juno - we understand that addictions are covered under the SDA (Siberians with Disabilities Act) and, therefore, all conduct caused by said addiction is NOT the responsibility of the Sibe.

    Besides, mom stepped in poo which therefore essentially marked it as yours.

    PeeEssWoo - We are not laughing at the reverse poodle look on your legs. No really.

    PeeEssWooTwo - Our hu dad totally respects MWD's jet lag beer need. Required by law we are sure.

  2. Yet another thing I've nevFUR done -

    PeeEssWoo: If woo are hurt by The Herd laughing at woo, I KNOW Bricey would gladly take khare of 'em fur woo!

    PeePeeEssWoo: PANTYLOONS!

  3. There is a simple answer for this THE SHOE MONSTER did it!!!! We have a sock monster at our house and although he doesn't chew the socks, he does like to take them outside and leave them in the wet grass. Strangely enough, when ever I go to rescue the socks and scare the monster away mom just happens to see me with them and thinks that I DID IT!!! Monsters are every where you know, there are hole digging ones, ones that chew plants, ones that like tissues so I am POSITIVE you have a shoe monster

  4. hello juno its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am sorry to heer that yoo wer fraymd for eeting yore dadas shooz by the gofers frum the yard i hav been fraymd by them for menny akts of destrukshun as wel!!! ok bye

  5. C'mon, Juno! I taught my mom not to leave any food on the counters (or even on top of the magic cold box - yum, those bananas were good, peel and all!). You can teach your mom to put her shoesies away. Try a little harder. Ha woo.

  6. I think Mr. Wild Dingo owes mom a Dansko in fair exchange for the beer run... I mean really.. Juno + home alone+ free reign = DT (destruction Time). Maybe you can train Loki to be on shoe patrol.


  7. Momma had a pair of those Dansko things. She said they never fit right and they are waiting to go to the charity place. Maybe we should send them to you instead.

    You clearly have an addiction and that is a mental illness. Maybe you need an intervention.


  8. BOL!Nice going with the shoe - it has definitely been demoted. We have discussed this and have decided that it was all your Mum's fault because she left the shoe in a place where it could become a chew toy. Talk to your attorney, go for an insanity defense, and roll your eyes alot. It's your only hope.

    Love, Dozer, Dottie and Cooper

  9. Hi Juno and Loki
    Yeppers.. Mr. B is a lot like retardo. Interchangeable. Maybe mom can check out the cyber sale monday for a new shoe... I think I saw a siber-site that's having a sale.. buy one shoe and get a free six pack.


  10. you know, if you hadn't stepped in the poo she might have left the shoes alone! that just seems to make everything tastier. i understand about total destruction, our juneau was left in the back of a SUV for less than 10 minutes and by the time we got back he had chewed up both rear arm rests and ripped the back off the back seat. poor doggie did not get many car rides after that.

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