O.K. dog owners out there, I think you need to decide how to fix this situation. Should I be given a chocolate covered pomegranate every time I put my shoes away before I leave the house or should I be given a correction on the prong collar or e-collar when I forget to put my shoes away when I leave the house?
I didn't learn my lesson last summer. Nor did I learn it this October, or the following day. Juno has a thing for destruction and eating things, like Mini Coopers. I never posted what she did to my office once. Moldings, door jams, my beloved moleskin journals, all toasted.
In my defense, I was only going to the store which is about 90 seconds away from me by car. (No I can't walk to it, it's too rough terrain, seriously.) And I was only going to be 5 minutes, which I've done before without her noticing, so it's generally safe to do. But gee, it's Thanksgiving and everyone in this country, you know, stops what they're doing and eats and lounges all day long. So of course the corner market wouldn't be open. So I had to drive all the way into town.
Yes, it was necessary. Mr. Wild Dingo happened to be coming back from a business trip on Thanksgiving. And, gasp! There was NO beer in the house. Jet Lag without beer is not to be trifled with at House of Dingo, so yes, it was necessary. Thank dogs I live in a state that sells beer in grocery stores, that has 24-hour supermarkets open on holidays. That's all I have to say about that.
So not only did I leave her in the entire house (usually, they're confined to mudroom, office and dog yard when I leave) but I left a pair of leather Dansko's out. I had just relegated them to my yard shoes because I stepped in poo. I washed them and decided to retire them to the yard for good. I left them in the mudroom to finish drying. Juno decided that yard retirement wasn't good enough and needed to demote them further.
So I sacraficed a decent pair of Dansko's for Mr. Wild Dingo's beer. I'm thinkin' that elevates my status at any given time of my choosing.
"Ut oh Cupcake. You're in soooooo much trouble!"
"I know this looks bad. But the evidence is circumstantial."
"Ok, maybe I did. But its a sickness I tell ya. I need help. Guilty by reason of mastacatory insanity."
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Let me know how the pups and I can love ya back!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."