I love this country. If I could, or had to, I would live here forever. But every now and then, its blemishes show up.
Last week, Mr. Wild Dingo called me on my cell phone while I was wandering around lost in a park, to tell me there was an escaped prisoner in Vaud, the canton where I live. I'm not even going to link to the story because the prisoner is the epitome of creepy, a psychopathic serial killer with crimes equal to Hannibal Lecter. If you want to learn more, Google the story.
Apparently, the prisoner escaped while on a "country woodland walk," a program that the prison provides for the prisoners for relief. He was in a car with two unarmed security officers, with no handcuffs and not even a seat belt to restrain him, when he attacked them and then made off in the car.
There are so many things wrong with this story, I don't even know where to begin. I mean, he wasn't wearing a seat belt? WTF? How is Switzerland going to protect the safety of its psychopaths if its security officers don't follow basic safety precautions? Did they give him some cash before he took off? Because nobody should be running amok in this country with no money.
But seriously, I know what you're thinking: why in the world is a psychopath given such a privilege as a woodland walk? That question is on the top of everyone's minds. Especially in a country who's many tourist attractions include military and prison castles with plenty of torture chambers, such as Chillon and even Morges. At this point I'm thinking easing up on their ancient prison techniques and not torturing a prisoner is enough of a relief for a psychopath versus giving him a woodland walk for relief. But what do I know?
An interview with a representative from the prison commented that a prisoner like this one would never be allowed such a privilege and further hearsay implies that there was a communication breakdown. I always knew this multi-language barrier would catch up with them.
One news source reported the fugitive turned himself in on Friday, five days after the escape. That's a relief.
But another interview with a representative from amnesty international, advocated that all people can change. She said that various psychiatrists' reports had shown him to be normal---because apparently psychopaths are incapable of lying---and ready for softened jail time and in fact he had already been on three outings like this with no incident.
And that's I felt just a wee-bit nostalgic for home.
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Thanks for the love!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."