A Lesson in Luggage Gastronomy

March 6, 2012

A Lesson in Luggage Gastronomy

March 6, 2012
Posted in: Totally Random | Reading Time: 3 minutes

Not long after Mr. Wild Dingo and I moved to Switzerland, we found a perfect pizza joint close to our house. By definition, this joint was homey, rustic, with plenty of miss-matching furniture, packed with locals and a friendly service staff. It even had home delivery and take out services. It seemed like the perfect solution for a post bike ride snack or too busy to cook take out.

It was crowded the day we investigated, so we tried it. We ordered some basic personal pizzas. I kept mine simple, with just  cheese, while Mr. Wild Dingo ordered something more complex like ham and mushrooms. We dug right in when the order arrived. What I tasted wasn't spectacular, but passable. So I asked Mr. Wild Dingo how his tasted.

He leaned into the table and with the straightest face possible he whispered, "It tastes like luggage."

While I was pondering the logic of that sentence I asked, "Samsonite or American Tourister?"

I thought about it. But I couldn't come up with an answer.  "So how do you even know what luggage tastes like? Have you actually licked a carry-on or chewed on a rolling suitcase?"

To my relief, Mr. Wild Dingo assured me he had not but he knew that if luggage had a taste, this would be it.  I mean, seriously. Who could stay married to a spouse who noshes on duffel bags and suitcases?

But I had to know what luggage tasted like, so I took a bite. Sure enough, I discovered one does not necessarily have to eat luggage to know what it tastes like. In fact, one only need to take one bite of the pizza from this packed pizza joint to find out.  It not only tasted like luggage, but on the scale of luggage quality,  it wasn't even a good brand.

I really don't know how anyone can screw up pizza this badly, but apparently it can be done. I couldn't begin to identify the type of cheese or spices that were used. But they were just wrong. And the dough was the same quality of the crepe we once ate in downtown Morges, that we were certain was made from an Amazon.com shipping box.

We were sure there were plenty of other restaurants in our area that possibly had decent pizza, but neither of us dared to try. We never ate at another pizza since.

Until we were in Venice last week. There, we ate pizza every day for lunch. I'm not ashamed to say that I even bordered on gluttony. Seriously Internet. It's Italy. I haven't eaten a pizza in over a year.  Do you think I'm going to let a little thing like gluten and wheat sensitivity stop me from partaking in all of Italy's finest foods?  I threw caution to the wind and with help of a daily probiotic, the wheat and gluten didn't bother me too much.

Now that I'm home, I'm back to my wheat-free ways until our next trip out of Switzerland. Like I'm going to waste my wheat indulgences on luggage or Amazon boxes.

Some around here, however, have a different point of view.

"Pizza, luggage, cardboard, Dansko's. I'm not picky."

Ain't Too Proud to Beg

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11 comments on “A Lesson in Luggage Gastronomy”

  1. I think Juno's got her eyes on those red ones. (I got my eyes on those too. feel free to ship them here when you're out of town..I'll be glad to keep and eye on them for you)
    mmmm..now I want pizza for lunch..damn you..there goes my salad for lunch everyday diet.

  2. Smack those lips, Juno - we know what is coming soon:)

    Now that you have made us all drool over that pawsitively yummy-looking pizza, we need to go find something to eat.

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

  3. Sheesh Loki...your howling of O SOLO MIO in the gondola wasn't in the least romantic...but I did enjoy the delicious ice cream stuff JELLO OTTO that makes those amazing smoothies...and the RATTING was fabbers..chasing those 30 pounders right into the canals...such sport...

    I suppose I must go back to da Burgh...evidently I HAVE CHORES...

    Where would you like to visit when you come to Pittsburgh? The Heinz factory has a mean tour and they give you a pickle pin at the end. You'd enjoy partaking of the baked beans, I'm sure....

    XXOO

    Miss Lacie Pizza Cakes er Pies

  4. I can't believe those Danskos are still safe! What self-respecting Sibe could let those shoes remain unmasticated?

    I don't know if you read about Wilf's adventures in France, but Angus' descriptions of the, um, inventive pizzas in France Profunde sound almost as good as those in Switzerland!

  5. Well, when you get back to the good old USA you can eat pizza until you explode. I am horrified to learn that your time in Switzerland is pizza free. How will you survive?

    Mango Momma

  6. You've never nibbled on your carry-on?!? Seriously? When I was an urchin traveling stand-by (airline employee dependent), we got stuck in Karachi for 3 days (and slept in the hangar, I might add, as it was the safest/cleanest option at the time...) and I am sure that we were noshing on our duffel bags by Day 3. We did, however, bypass the bright pink hard-sided American Tourister bags my parents had bought when we first moved overseas (and were indestructible - even the Saudia baggage handled couldn't destroy them). All that aside, I believe that one of the requirements of claiming Italian citizenship is to indulge in gluttony (and probably a few of the other Deadly Sins) when visiting the mothership, erm Mother Land. Oh, and that is an AWESOME photo with the Danskos - I'm sure you risked life and limb retrieving them before they became an appetizer...

    -Dr. Liz, who should be working, but isn't at the moment...

  7. Wondered how you'd survived your wheat-filled indulgences in Italy. Glad you found a way to enjoy the indulgences without ruining your trip or your health. Mama is not a big pizza fan, so a year without pizza is a pretty normal year chez nous. On the other hand, mama still has to put her slippers in a drawer in her nightstand every night to keep Abby from chewing them up, so we do have some things in common.

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