Diary of a Dog Nut

Diary of a Dog Nut

Saucy Minx

It's embarrassing. All it takes is a mature, dapper gentleman still in possession of his family jewels for Juno to abandon all modesty to become a saucy minx. I won't show you the other photos because this is a family blog and those photos are rated X. 

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When It's Hard to Say "Goodbye"

How lucky are we to know someone like Jim and his pack who are so hard to say goodbye to?

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Is There a Support Group for Gardening Addiction?

"Daddy-O, how much do you think she'll pay us to make her potted plants look better by sitting next to them?" "Princess, we did not negotiate our contract prior to the job. Maybe we should unionize."

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Slim Fast

"Of course I'm pleased with myself. Just look at me. I'm perfect." 

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Happy Loki-versary!

This weekend marked Loki's 9th year with us and roughly his 10th (maybe 11th) birthday. Time sure flies when you live with a cracker. He's been our greatest teacher, our best friend, our most loyal companion. This is the photo that melted my heart. When I called AHAN, the rescue, they literally said, "I'm not […]

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A Life Without Cheeses

The past two weeks, while Mr. Wild Dingo has been on travel, I, Evil Momma, have led Juno off her spiritual Path of Cheeses. This is what we call a “necessary evil” to lose a few pounds. No matter how much she prayed at the sacred altar of Mount Kitchen Island and proclaimed her faith, […]

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My Job is Internet Celebrity Manager

It cracks me up when people recognize me from my dogs. I’ve met some fantastic people this way as well! The cracker and the criminal are Internet celebs. I’m just their agent. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Still, if they ever get their own star on a walk of fame, I'll demand a […]

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The Complaint Department

"Mom! Juicy is touching my feetie-feets! WTF?" "Chill, Daddy-O. It's not like it's gonna kill you to have a little cuddle." It's important to have excellent bedside manners when your Queen comes home from the dogtor and must be comforted for the imposition of having her jodhpurs manhandled. He has the best ears for listening.

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Church of Cheeses

Not many people know this, but Juno is devout spiritual being. She follows the path of Cheeses. Worshiping nightly, she prays for the coming of Cheeses, while MWD ministers an amuse-bouche in the kitchen. "Like an angel descending from heaven, Cheeses makes its way from the great Mount Kitchen Island, and behold, lands directly on […]

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Count Grassula

That look I get when I tell him he has something in his teeth. *Thanks to our friends at Tails from the Pack for that perfect title!

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Dogs Can Express Gratitude

Have you ever noticed your dog express gratitude toward you? I'm not talking about the affection he gives you when you walk through the door after work. I mean, real thanks, for something specific. I never gave it much thought, until one day a few years ago, on a very hot walk, I stopped half […]

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Loki-Speak Spoken Here

Sometimes I think Loki is so bonded to me because I'm one of the few who understand Loki-speak. Being understood when you look and sound like a brute must feel extraordinary.

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Jenny on Heavenly Lane

Juno searches for her pal, Jenny the wee little pup, who lives on Heavenly Lane in town. At least that's what I call this road. There's nothing like a full fence of Wisteria fragrance to brighten your day. Juno cries to Jenny, so she saunters over to us.  The cracker and the criminal always enjoy saying […]

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Sometimes Crime Does Pay

"Hey Daddy-O! Mom looks like she's packin plenty of profit in those high pockets. How about you put your paw down and demand a toll for this bridge?" "Don't worry Princpessa, it's in the bag. She's an easy mark, a real rube. We're big rough wild dogs and crime is the price she pays. There's […]

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Happy National Puppy Day

It's National Puppy Day! Here's Loki, aka: The Cracker, when he was just a wee thing in Taiwan, sometime in 2007. Even as a puppy, his penetrating eyes impart a heartbreaking story of abandonment, fear, anxiety and a desperation to find *his* person—one who spoke his language so many before misunderstood—to whom he’d gift his […]

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The Last Word

Last Saturday, I walked a country road with my dogs. The traffic was a bit heavy for the area as people were driving to a winery for tasting. A car came at me at a high speed, so I motioned it to slow down as cars were coming in the other direction on a tight […]

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Vet of the Year

Congratulations to our favorite vet and friend, Hilary Wheeler for winning PetPlan's Veterinarian of the Year Award in early February. (I may, or may not have sent this photo to the judges with an "offer" to send the cracker to "speak" to them on your behalf of your outstanding qualities.) We're so proud of you! Even […]

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My Girl Juicy

Now this dog. This dog doesn't have a cruel bone in her body. During this year's rutting season, I stopped carrying treats due to yellow jacket population. Without treats, Juno turned to her innate Siberian resolve of doing whatever she damn well pleases. Her recall slipped to the point where she would only wait for […]

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Brute Force Peace Keeper

This dog. This dog loves his mommy no matter what she does. Scott pulled a prank on my Lyme brain Sunday morning while wrapping presents. Since we desperately need some humor in this house, I laughed and scolded him while girlie-slapping his arm and nudging his wine-belly. Loki, being the police dog that he is, broke […]

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My Two Essential Ingredients in Lyme Disease Treatment

Thank dog and praise cheeses for these two. They've literally held me together the last few weeks as my health plummeted into Lyme disease hell. Surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep per night and all the other little goodies that come along with Neurological Lyme plus a brand-new infection has been peachy. This election season […]

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This blog began in 2005 with a silly press release about my dingo, Maggie and her nemesis, Monsieur Le Pew.  When Maggie passed, I rescued the cracker, Loki. To say that I was over my head with a real working dog is an understatement. So I did what every new dog owner does when they are in over their heads with a busy dog. I adopted a second dog, a husky, to "keep him busy." I know, Internet, I know. I didn't actually make my life easier. Juno, the criminal, only gave me more work.  Life with the cracker and the criminal has been filled with adventures. These two have taught me more about life than any school, guru or self-help book. Juno wrote  masticated the book on crime and punishment, while the cracker polices her misdemeanors. Together, they drive me nuts. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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