A Husky Ate My Mini

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, I did have dingo once. And you know what they eat. So now I have a dog that eats cars. As long as she doesn’t move onto eatin’ bars and guitars, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about husky rapture. To be honest, I’m more bummed out about the knit cap she ate than the car seat.

Juno performed her work of art on my Mini a few weeks ago, the day I dropped Loki off for his second training for “dogs with unique challenges.” I’ve been working with a trainer and both have been going to group classes every week. Loki sometimes gets to stay overnight for “extra credit.”

Juno has always been pretty good sitting in the car as long as she can see Loki on the training field working with me. She’s also very good in the car if Loki is with her. But that day, she saw me take Loki away and up to the kennels and leave her in the car, well, she had something to say about that. I would think she’d welcome me back showering me with kisses because she’d have 3 peaceful days of no neck biting or Loki wrestling matches. Of course I couldn’t be more wrong. She’s clearly as deranged as the bad boy himself. Takes one to know one.

When Loki got home, she’s like “Dude, I went postal on Mom’s car when she took you behind bars. I protested, I yelped, I scratched and did my best to get out and free you. Did you see what I did to the seat?”

Loki’s all, “Ya, thanks for that. It’s totally sick. Now get over here so I can bite your neck anyway.”

***

Juno’s now in special training to become a Therapy Service dog. No, not the kind of “service dog” that brings you your Prozac while feeding your paranoid views on how the world is out to get you. It’s the kind of Therapy Service that provides affection and comfort to help reduce stress levels in those facing a multitude of physical, mental and emotional challenges. It’s a proven fact that petting Siberian Huskies reduce the need for lithium or Prozac. She’s actually pretty good at it, we just don’t mention her, um, “separation anxiety” and her “obsessive compulsive” love with the Formosan Mountain dog to the clients.

Loki’s in a “league of his own” special training. The trainer’s tell me that Loki has a high drive to work but very high anxiety. Maybe I should start slipping him a Zoloft before class. When he’s calm and “working” he’s really a special dog.  People watching him comment on his intense drive. It’s what I love most about him. But it’s always a special treat when something triggers his anxiety and he throws a temper tantrum in public.

Today I came home from taking Loki for his 1:1 training to find my office destroyed. On the list of eaten items: my moleskin journals (my lifeline), my ipod wire (but no other computer wires), magazines, file folders, the Lubriderm skin cream bottle, some of the window sill molding and the door jam. Obviously the Mini incident taught me nothing. In my defense, she had been doing “fine” in the office with chew toys for days that I take Loki to school. But you just can’t trust a husky alone.

In the meantime, here are a few outtakes from their daily play. Pardon the Bee-Gee captions. I just can't get them out of my head.

Hey Baby. Let's do a little tug. Make a little love. Get down tonight.

Fool, what you're trying to do?

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.

Jive talkin--Youre telling me lies, yeah
Jive talkin--You just aint no good

I ain't no vision, I'm the girl...
who... loves...you... inside and out
Backwards and forwards with my heart tongue hanging out

Suddenly youre in my life
Part of everything I do
You got me working day and night
Just trying to keep a hold on you

The first, the last, my everything
And the answer to ...all my dreams
You're my sun...my moon...my guiding star
My kind of wonderful...that's what you are