Siberian Husky owners, you may want to avert your eyes. Because what you're about to see may give you nightmares and is so horrific it isn't shown on TV. It may raise your blood pressure or even cause heart failure. What you are about to see is shocking, frightening and down right against the laws of nature. Don't say I didn't warn you for:
"Hey Retardo! Take notes and watch a real athlete. I am Husky. Catch me if you can!"
And it gets worse! It's in an unfenced area! Dare I show you again?
"Get ready to ruuuummmble!"
And, Gasp! AGAIN!
"Oh the things I can do without my leash!"
Yes, it's true. Loki and Juno and I go walking at the nearby 100+ acre Christmas Tree farm (available to the locals to walk their dogs, on or off-leash) almost every day. But sadly, I am now old and developed a foot pain and for now can't walk fast enough to keep up with a Siberian who needs real exercise. So I've taken up the habit of releasing the leashes for the farm. But never fear. I've put two solid years into training my sibe. And in those two years, trainers have bestowed many accolades on Juno, astonished for her work in obedience. Surely it must come in handy, right?
For the record, Mr. Wild Dingo is not happy about my crazy, logical notions. I mean, my Siberian knows her name. My Siberian sits and downs when she's told. And most importantly of all, my Siberian, comes when she's called!
"Hey Mom, didn't you just like call Juno like 87 times now? You want me to go bring her back by the neck?"
No Loki, she's coming, see?
"Oh hey mom, ya, um, I was in the middle of tinkling when you called."
Oh, well ok, because our trainers always told us the "tinkle/poo card" always gets them a free pass. So no laws broken yet.
"Hey Principessa! Don't go so fast. It's always best to stick next to the food resources."
"Stuff it Big Boy, there's squirrel over there with my name on it."
"Ah, the sweet smell of freedom! I'll be back!" (Or not.)
Just so we're clear, Internet, it's not like I just walk into the farm and release the evil dynamic duo and tell them to check me later. Before they go anywhere, we practice a few sets of recalls from a short distance to help them remember what the word "come" means. As you can see below, Juno is on her way back ready to receive her chicken for the effort of returning back to me.
"Lady, this better be a whole lot better than that bunch of chickadees I had my eye on!"
Internet, I swear, my Siberian has got a wonderful recall. But something must have happened in this case when I called both dogs. Yes, that spot down there is Juno:
Truly, I think I need to get her hearing checked. After all, this was a long way away from me. She never does this at home or on the training field!
And you really can't expect her to come when she's making new friends on the trail:
"Hey shorty. That sweater totally makes you look like a pansy."
Even Loki sometimes forgets his name when there's a chi-wow-wow around. He's ga-ga for chi's and here prefers to hang out with his new pal and her mom:
"So little lady, that sweater is so becoming on you. Do you have a date for the prom?"
"Are you some kind of weirdo? Like I just met you. Mom, get rid of this dude, will ya?"
Thank dog for Loki's awesome recall because in a pinch, he and I hide in the trees on her and don't say a word so she panics and comes to find us. Or sometimes we try to trick her and tell her we're leaving without her. That one always gets her to come with us.
"Mom, you know what they say when you cry 'wolf', right?"
Well, that works for me, because she is a descendent of a wolf, right?
And sometimes, she just comes to me because, well, I admit, I don't exactly know why she comes. Probably the chicken.
"Oh hey mom, what's taking you so long climbing up that steep slope? Can't you see we're starving here?"
But seriously, her recall got us into trouble once with a fella and his very nice off-leash labrador. The lab didn't mind her but the fella just didn't want her around. Loki recalled out out of it, but Juno, thankfully not dog-naughty, just hung around them about 5 feet away from them sniffing the ground "innocently" while forgeting her name as I called it. Once again, Loki saved the day and she eventually came when he and I ran away from her. Sigh. Needless to say, sometimes Juno does not have total recall of the word "come." Either that, or her brain virtually travels to Mars any time I call her at the tree farm.
So let's do the math:
(Loki's 98% recall + Juno's 2% recall) x Juno's strong pack drive = 1 Total Recall
Two dogs for 1 Recall. Hmmm. Is that a bargain or a rip-off?
"Math, schmath. Got any chicken?"
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Let me know how the pups and I can love ya back!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."