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Dansko Betting Pool

Dansko Betting Pool

October 23, 2010
Posted in: Dogs | Reading Time: 3 minutes

Alert readers will note a new feature in the right side bar: The Dansko Betting Pool. The Betting Pool is now open to take bets on the number of days my Dansko shoes survive.  The house (me) bets that shoes will last for 180 days or more. If they don't make it to that fateful day, then the person with the number closest to the day that the shoes bite the dust will win the bet. The winner will receive a package of the finest Swiss chocolate I can find. And let Mr. Wild Dingo tell you that I'm quite the connoisseur of chocolate. It won't be cheap and it won't be lacking in variety or quantity.

 "You'd be a fool not to bet against the house!"

To Play:

  1. Place a first bet for "Dansko's Bite the Dust" in the comment section of this post once. You cannot revise your bet or make changes to your bet. You can only place one bet for this category. Since the house bets 180 days, you cannot place a bet higher than 180 days.
  2. Place a second bet for "First Masticatory Incident" of anykind. Because Dansko's aren't the only thing on Juno's non-food menu. In the event the house actually wins and the shoes survive 180 days, the person who wins this bet will win.
  3. Both bets operate the same way. The closest bet to the day of the incident without going over wins. So if there's a mastication at day 42 and there's a bet for this at day 43, there is no winner. But if there is a bet for day 2 and a bet for day 43, then the better for day 2 wins.
  4. The betting pool is open until December 25, 2010. All bets must be placed by that date.
  5. The game ends April 16, 2011 (180 days after Dansko's arrived) or on the day one pair of Dankso's bites the dust. I know, that's a long time to wait. But consider the odds:

Here is a short list of Siberian Masticatory wins in the last 3 years that are in favor of the player's odds:

Opponent Number of Wins
Flip Flops 3
Mini Cooper Car 1   NB: an expensive repair raises it to the 10th power
Yoga Mat 1
Catalogs 4
Postal Mail 2
Blue Tape 2
Sneakers 3
Hiking Shoes 1   NB: First pair purchased April 2010. Time of Death: May 2010. Second Pair bought May 2010. Still Alive
Crocs 3
Sunglasses 3
Pillows 2
Books 3
Passport 1 NB: Again counts as higher due to the importance of item.
Danskos 5    NB:  Last 2 pairs purchased October 2009. Time of Death: August 2010.
Outdoor Garden Shoes 2
Cardboard Box 5
Purses 2
Trash can contents: 10? 20? I just can’t count that high.

I call this the short list because if I were to post every mastication the Sibe has completed in the last three years, I wouldn't be posting about any other subject. For example, below is another, unpublicized mastication the day she destroyed Rome. Notice the Roman mastications are in the background but the Ikea mastication was not mentioned in that post.

"I try to be helpful around the house, pre-open some of these Ikea boxes. And this is the thanks I get?"

So with only about 1/4 of Juno's mastications published in the last three years,  it looks like the odds are in your favor to bet and bet early.  You can't win if you don't play!

Hint: to analyze the odds in depth before placing your bets, be sure to study the history of Juno's mastications.

Update: Day Counting begins from 10/18/2020, the day the shoes arrived.

Leave a Reply

29 comments on “Dansko Betting Pool”

  1. I am so in on this action.

    1) Bite the Dust is 67 days (sorry Wild Dingo lady)
    2) First Mastications is 3 days (unless of course it already happened, hehehe).


  2. hahahah how fun is this (sorry Mrs Wild Dingo)!?

    We are totally in on this even if I don't like chocolate (I know, I know. YES I, Darwin's mom is not a chocolate eater).

    1) Dansko’s Bite the Dust: 124 days
    2) First Masticatory Incident: 8 days

    Good luck Dansko's!

  3. Oh dear.
    1)Bite the dust 10-31-2010.
    2) First Masticatory Incident 12 days.

    Good Luck with the Dansko's and here's hoping they last 9 months!

  4. I gotta get in on this - Those are wonderful shoes but they won't last, I say Dec 22/10 (60 days?). We get rushed and forgetful in the holiday rush and THEY wait patiently .... then sneak a taste.

    I lost count after the first year! The silliest was my husky walking past me with a toilet brush, like I would miss seeing that!???? But, my huskyX did the same thing when he was 6 months old! I think she made him do it. ha ha

    Thanks for the wonderful look at your life, you've certainly had a lot of adventures. Keep up the good work Juno and Loki, some days it's like seeing my Daiquiri and Timba.

  5. Count us in as well!

    The Bougalou Bear, aka "The jaws of Doom" pronosticates:

    - Dansko out in 15 days when Mrs wild Dingo starts her Christmas shopping/Christmas mailing blitz (this is Europe; she WILL get started in the next 2 weeks if she knows what's good for her!)and gets distracted

    -1rst Masticatory Event in 6 days

    Snowing yet in Tolochenaz?

  6. Of khourse, all the incidents are REALLY khaused by lazy and/or inattentive Dingo Humans -

    Put your khrap away and Juno would only have Loki to khonsume -

    I vote 82.6 days -

    PeeEssWoo: Just wait 'til woo see The Looker Mom had on Saturday!!!!!!

  7. I'm so in..I love my Dansko's and am lucky enough to have dogs that don't eat shoes..
    Dansko's (specifically the delicious red ones) 28 days.
    The incident..11 days..since the Herd took my original 10 day guess.
    Good luck with those awesome Dansko's..been looking for a new winter pair with the backs on them since the slip-ons are leaving my feetsies a little cold.

  8. Uh oh, hope she hasn't had her first masticatory event yet. Our guess is 3 days.

    Maybe Loki should get some new guarding training. Let him patrol the house to ensure the "human's stuff" don't become Sibe-licious yummies.

  9. Wooo this is great fun

    Dansko's have had it on day 62

    Mastication 4 days

    Someone is going to really enjoy that Swiss chocolate, maybe Juno will get to it first before it gets posted 😉


  10. Dansko's are going to make it 73 days. First mastication event is going to be, uh, has it happened already? Uh. We'll say 10 days from the start of the pool - so that gives us like 3 days from now! 🙂

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

  11. Has it really been three years since you got Juno? seems just like yesterday!

    Anyway Danskos 45 days at best 😉
    Anything else 15 days,

    Does she need Vushki to help? BTW Shadows latest dessert item is toilet paper, he likes to steal the roll and eat it! If he can't get the roll off he just bites large chunks out of it.

    Best of luck

  12. Bite the dust: 90 days (isn't that when the guarantee is up?)
    Mastication: 21 days

    jack a-roo & miss moo

  13. Hmm, this sounds like serious business.
    99 for the Danskos - long enough for you to let your guard down, but no way are those making it six months.
    As for the next chewing, assuming you've posted half the mastications (not counting trash), something is eaten in your house a little more than once every two weeks. So, the scientist in me will go with 13 days. (plus, all the good numbers were already taken 😉

  14. Hmmm, since I love me some chocolate I can't turn this opportunity down, though I make a rule of never betting against the house.

    I say 126 days for the Dansko's because it's a nice round number, and um, 6 days for the chewing.

    The Sibe I grew up with was also a master chewer. She once completely destroyed a garden house and one side of outdoor dining shelter withing a matter of weeks. Not to mention how many times my father had to replace our wooden fence...

  15. 1. Shoe expiration date 2/14/2011
    2. next mastication event: 10/29/2010
    Both estimates are based in your local time!
    paws crossed that the house wins though! I can't help but notice you bought 2 pairs, hope that she does not go for one of each as the former foster pup TeddyNo would have surely done!

  16. Is it too late to play, since the non-Danskos event already occurred?

    If it's not too late, we'd like to bet the Danskos' life will end on January 1, 2011. We can't count higher than about 8, so we're not sure if any other furry already picked that date using the number of days instead of the date. [We're assuming Mr & Mrs Dingo are good pawrents and wouldn't dream of deserting their pups on an important occassion like the start of the New Year by, say, taking a weekend trip to Paris or something. If they do take a trip to Paris for New Year's, it was our idea and we win anyway.]

    Jed & Abby

  17. I bet the Dansko's will last until around 160 days because by then you will probably be fooled by her into thinking she is growing out of her shoe fetish. Your guard will be down and the shoes will go down too ! By then you will have bought the Swiss Chocolat and Juno will more than likely have devoured that too !!

  18. Day of Dansko destruction December 18, 2010 - you'll need enough time to get some good foot scent into the shoes and to start wearing snow boots enough that they get neglected.

    Is the masticatory event over? Or are you just going for the next one down the pike? If so, I'd say November 13, 2010. I bet the Thundering Herd got her thinking about her deep, animal instincts.

  19. I think we are a bit late. We were intrigued by an expat in Switzerland and came over to meet you from Mango and Dex. We don't know you pups very well, but we're going to guess that the Danskos will bite the dust on December 31. first masticatory event will be December 23. Look forward to reading more about 2-3 hour train rides and drives from where you live!
    Sammie, Ava and Ma

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