"Hey Daddy-O. This hipster looks like he could stand one more greasing. He's not slick enough."
"That's straight from the 'fridge Princepessa. He ought to have his wardrobe cleaned and burned. With choppers like that, he ain't worth the powder it'd take to blow his nose."
"Listen Fruitcake, let me give it to you straight, with no chaser. If you want to put the boo in the munchkins, you're gonna have to sharpen up your choppers. Ain't nobody afraid of teeth like that. Take it from me, who's long in the fang. I just open my mouth to put a fire under the jerks and the fillies."
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Thanks for the love!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."