Please Mom, I'll Never Ask For Anything Else!

Last Sunday, I broke down and got him his own dog. Not for Mr. Wild Dingo but for Loki. Just so I’d have a few free moments to myself instead of playing tug with him 24/7. Husky owner, Jim (owner of Loki’s favorite chew toy Vushkey) planted a little seed in my ear “Come by the adoption fair,” he said. And there I saw her: one year of age, amber eyes, a fluffy 50 lbs of soft feathers and confectionery sugar, playful as a kitten and so pretty.

Meet Juno.

Isn’t she gorgeous? Those amber eyes, that raccoon face. And you haven’t even seen her tail. All I need to do is spray some pledge on it and walk around the house saying nice things to her while she happily (“waggingly”) follows me. Unlike a certain dominating German Shepherd Formosan Mountain dog, she happily greets everyone wagging and kissing. Just sweet as cotton candy. I think her middle name will be Belle because she’s so pretty and sweet.

Anyway, here’s what sweet cotton candy can do to a door when you take the Formosan Mountain dog for his walk without her (because she had a little limp in her front paw that day) and lock her in the house.

Ya, she managed to try to open the mud room door from the bottom and the handle. When that didn’t work, she went for my purse and looked for some keys, only she couldn’t find them.

Frustrated, she chewed through the handles of my purse.

Finally, she managed to dismantle the dog door lock and pull it out, and waited for us patiently in the back yard. I’m lucky she didn’t dig out. The first few days, she was so sweet and docile, I wondered if she was a good fit for us. You know because I’m the only normal allowed in this house. But then she displayed this evil side of her. I think I love her. She has her own set of naughty that makes her fit in very well here.

How It All Happened

After meeting Juno last Saturday at the pet fair, I set up a meeting time for her and Loki on neutral territory. Since Scott came, Loki was very concerned. I’m sure his thoughts were that we were so over him and ready to give him back. As if. He’s much too evil to let just anyone have him.

At meeting Juno, he didn’t know what to make of her. He returned to me several times looking for leadership. “Should I play with her? Can I dominate her? Can I tell her to get off of me when she jumps me?” Finally! All those hours spent beating him with a skillet yelling “who’s your leader” paid off. He was behaving just as he was supposed to behave: asking me permission to interact with her, establish rank and then play. I was so proud of him.

Jim came to the meeting to make things more familiar. Loki went ballistic when he recognized him, jumping four feet in the air, happy to see him. Then Jim brought in two of his own, Vushkey (Loki’s favorite buddy) and Shadow (Juno’s secret admirer) to make the meeting less strange for Loki. Loki was even happier. He realized it was a play date, even though it was a whole new place.

I decided to adopt her. Her personality is completely sweet, and opposite of Loki’s. She looks tough, but she’s all confectionary sugar and is content to sit next to you and kiss you all day long.

Finally! My Very Own Husky Chew Toy! (Juno's Obviously Not Amused.)

Over the last week, Loki adjusted very fast. At first, afraid of losing his leadership, he tried very hard to be very dominant with her, but couldn’t resist her charms. He often pulled his “possessive” moves, putting his body in between us and Juno. Then she’d lick his muzzle asking for permission to play with us and I’d watch him melt like butter on a warm frying pan. She’s one of those “you get more with honey than vinegar” types. And she has those Jedi “you will love me” powers that go beyond even Loki’s fears of losing his leadership. Just look at how much he likes her:

Do you take this canine to chew on and to wrestle with, in playtime and in snuggle-time, for stinkier or muddier?

Then she lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theater curtain.I was to get to know that trick. That was supposed to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air.

She's a husky. The kind of husky to keep a Formosan Mountain dog as busy as a one-legged tap dancer.

Juno’s the opposite of Loki. She’s quiet and docile. She didn’t bark once her first week--until she saw a cat. When she barked, I nearly fainted from surprise.

She’s also a lot like a kitten in dog clothing. (Husky owners please don’t shoot me.) Like a cat, Juno’s not very obedient for the sake of obedience. She’s super crafty and will take to doing as she pleases. She’s learned to turn the trash compactor on and I’m already expecting the day she’ll figure out how to open the trash can. Loki will obey once he’s learned a word, but Juno, well, I know she’s young but its obvious she has her own agenda when asking her to do things. Loki watches me teach her all his commands and he waits patiently while I teach her. When teaching her to wait at the top of the stairs, she’ll lay down, stick her nose and paw on the first stair, just to push the envelope, just like a cat. Loki watches it all, completely perplexed and probably thinking, “Finally I’M the good dog!”

Still she’s perfectly sweet and won’t do any harm except to shoes, purses, wires, furniture, and anything non-metal while being confined in a house alone. She’s not like Loki who needs a lot more work to keep people from fleeing every time they see me coming down the path with him. Honestly, it hurts my feelings to see sweet little Chinese ladies shrivel as far over as they can when they see Loki coming with his full-on “exuberance.” Ya, that’s the word for it. Now when they see Juno, everyone stops and sighs. Frankly Juno’s calm, sweet behavior is beginning to rub off on Loki and people are beginning to ask me more about him, rather than run away from him. Having Juno is already paying off, I suppose.

Together, Loki and Juno make one perfect Wild Dingo. Loki has Maggie’s abilities to antagonize and scare away anyone within 50 yards away from him and Juno has Maggie’s delicate physique (you have to pick her up to feel it), her dainty eating habits and her lady-like looks and her crafty mind. Like Maggie, Loki is a dog's dog. But Juno loves people. Both have a bit of Maggie’s agility and independence. Both have their own sets of evil. And like Maggie, neither one of them scoots. What more could I ask for?

Loki's Own Parody From “Stuart” by the Dead Milkmen:

You know what, Stuart, I LIKE you.
You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.
Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're good Americans.
But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kickback a cool, Coors 16-ouncer.
They're good, fine people, Stuart. But they don't know ... what the deers are doing to the soil!

You know that Formosan Dog, the one who barks at everyone in the neighborhood?
He’s a foreign dog. Some people think he’s an attack dog, but I don’t believe it.
Anyway, for his 2nd birthday, all he wanted was a husky
Kept bugging his old lady. “Mom, get me a Siberian husky. I’ll never ask for anything else as long as I live.”
So the chick breaks down and rescues him a Siberian Husky.
Anyway, 10:30, the other day, I go out in the yard and there’s the Formosan Dog looking into the redwood trees.
I say “What are you lookin’ for?”
He says “I’m looking for my Siberian husky”
I say “Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick! Everyone knows that Siberian Huskies Live in the house, where there’s air conditioning. Why do you think they call them Siberian Huskies anyway?”
Now Stuart, you think a dog like that is going to know what the deers are doing to our soil?