Our friend, Tartok over at the Herd Annex asked Loki for a little help in squaring a beef with his sister Ruby, who's been gangin' up on him. (Let's all hear a collective, "Awe!") Loki has a bit of experience with a bossy Siberian dame so he happily stepped up. Here are a few of Loki's best tips on How to Chill a Hot Dog.
Tip #1: Always be prepared for the opponent to pounce.
"Hey Daddy-O. It's git down time!"
Tip #2: Deal out the pre-emptive bite, err, strike.
"Listen sister, you'd better watch how you run your mouth because I have a set of choppers right here, ready to do some collateral damage."
Tip #3: Ignore opponent's sass.
"Spare me the hot air tough-guy. You're just a Schmo from Kokomo."
Tip #4: Fake her out with the belly-up defense.
"Darlin', now that you've laid me out, when you gonna bury me?"
Tip # 5: When the going gets tough, the tough get cracked-out.
"Hey cupcake, you're one step closer to a trip to the croaker!"
The Cracked-Out move is important so lets examine it closely. Notice it is also coupled with sass.
Tip # 6: When all else fails, hightail it and run!
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Let me know how the pups and I can love ya back!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."