Our friend, Tartok over at the Herd Annex asked Loki for a little help in squaring a beef with his sister Ruby, who's been gangin' up on him. (Let's all hear a collective, "Awe!") Loki has a bit of experience with a bossy Siberian dame so he happily stepped up. Here are a few of Loki's best tips on How to Chill a Hot Dog.
Tip #1: Always be prepared for the opponent to pounce.
"Hey Daddy-O. It's git down time!"
Tip #2: Deal out the pre-emptive bite, err, strike.
"Listen sister, you'd better watch how you run your mouth because I have a set of choppers right here, ready to do some collateral damage."
Tip #3: Ignore opponent's sass.
"Spare me the hot air tough-guy. You're just a Schmo from Kokomo."
Tip #4: Fake her out with the belly-up defense.
"Darlin', now that you've laid me out, when you gonna bury me?"
Tip # 5: When the going gets tough, the tough get cracked-out.
"Hey cupcake, you're one step closer to a trip to the croaker!"
The Cracked-Out move is important so lets examine it closely. Notice it is also coupled with sass.
Tip # 6: When all else fails, hightail it and run!
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"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."