I came home the other day and found Juno had done a little light reading. So I asked her what she learned.
"The unexamined book is not worth reading. But it sure is worth chewing."
It's true that I hadn't really read the book and it was officially 'unexamined.' But I'm pretty sure Socrates didn't say quite those words.
"Thou shall live to chew, not chew to live."
"Princess, that's deep!"
Hmmm. That sounds like Socrates, but I'm pretty sure that's not quite right either.
"How about this: Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for. "
Leave it to the Sibe to twist a great philosopher's words to get her out of her masticatroy mischief.
"Princess, are you sure he didn't mean 'reading' other men's writings, not 'eating' other men's writings?"
"Doofus, the only true wisdom is in me knowing that you know nothing."
Now she's just showing off.
As I began to chew her out for her chew-out, she came back with sound Socratic logic:
"Get not your friends by bare compliments, but by giving them sensible tokens of your love."
Don't think that philosophy is going to get you out of the deep trouble you're in young lady! Chewing my book is so not a token of love!
"Life contains but two tragedies.
One is not to get your heart's desire; the other is to get it."
Well, at least she learned something.
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"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."