"Hey Daddy-O! I heard a knock at the door. I wonder who it can be?"
"It looks like that chat next door paid us a little visit and left us a housewarming present."
"Princess, this doesn't look like a very warm Swiss welcome!"
Hm. It seems the neighbor cat is either very upset that he no longer has access to our big grass garden since the fence went up or he thinks our welcome mat is a cat box.
"Let me take a whif before I point any paws at any furbody..."
"Yup, it's definitely that white and orange chat."
"Wow Princess, how do you know?"
"I can smell fear. This is nothing but a weak attempt to drive us out of the 'hood."
"Maybe he was a little upset by our first meeting a few months ago... when he scared the bejesus out of me in the middle of the night while I was trying to take care of my business before bed time."
"Ha-ha. Good one Big Boy. It was more like we scared the crap out of him that night!"
"Big Boy, we need to put a stop to this and fast. It''s time to tap into your inner cujo."
"Right-e-o Cupcake. You crack the whip and I'll make the trip."
"Hey squirt over there in the field...did you have anything to do with our welcome present?"
"I have no idea what you're talkin' about. I'm just minding my own business, hunting field mice..."
"Well spread the word. I may be quiet. But I'm stealth and my jaws pack a mean punch. My mom has the Dansko's to prove it. So you and your kind stay off our property or I'll send the Cracker to make cat-ier out of you and your pals."
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Thanks for the love!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."