Bad Dogs and the Women Who Love Them

That’s the book I’ll someday write. But for now, I’m starting a support group: Women Addicted to Bad Dogs.

Me: “Hello. My name is Julie. I’m a Bad Dogaholic.”

Group: “Hello Julie.”

How can something as sweet as this:

Do something as evil as this?

Another shoe fatality at Wild Dingo.

Before we left for our mountain bike ride the other day, I told Scott “Better pick up your shoes and put anything away that is chewable. Juno likes to chew.” But he replied, “I don’t have anything of value.”

Then we came home to one of his flip flops out in the yard, the other in the living room, beside my microfiber Dusting Slippers. (Ok, so I also belong to Dustaholics Anonymous. With all these support groups, it leaves little time for riding my bike.) The flip flops were a fatality but my slippers were only left slightly "roomier" in the toes. Someone sure cared enough about these slippers causing some nasty bunions.

Hmmm…Who could do this? I picked up the shoe, sighed and said softly, “bad doggies,” without really intending to correct them, because it was beyond too late. You need to catch them red-pawed within 2 seconds of bad behavior for any “correction” to actually work. No sooner did I say ‘bad doggies’ than Loki took off to the far end of the yard fearing the skillet while Juno just smiled and wagged her tail at me. “Don’t look at me, I’m the sweet one. Loki’s the one running. He obviously did it,” she said. “Ah, but I’ve had Loki three months and he never had these types of priors on his record,” I tell her. Sure he bites, runs away, pulls on the leash, barks at everyone, wakes me up at the crack of dawn, is obnoxious 18 hours per day and sleeps only 6 hours… but chew? Nah. Not my Loki. Then he came over, picked up a piece of the flip flop and played keep away with Juno. Just what I need: another bad dog teaching my already bad dog more bad behaviors.

Sigh. I think this is going to require more than 12 steps to overcome my addiction.

On another note: Loki’s been down with a virus or bacterial infection for over a week. No need for worries. All blood tests are good. Just some really bad bug. Poor guy lost 4 or 5 pounds. And Juno is bored to death not having his jaws around her head or neck scruff 18 hours a day. But the upside is he gets to eat really good boiled chicken, rice, broth, Gerber baby food and cottage cheese. The downside, I usually get chased by a swarm of bees snacking on his high-protein poo when I clean the back yard.