Seriously. Why should I be surprised? After all, she also ate my Mini-Cooper.
This time, I put my shoes away AND hid the trash can. I left my important identity file folder out on top of my desk because I need to renew my passport. She helped herself to the folder. When I got home, it looked like a thief ransacked my office and mud room. Folder mutilated, marriage certificate, crumpled. Guess she doesn't think highly of my marriage to Mr. Wild Dingo. And the passport? Well, lets just say its a good thing its up for renewal. Thankfully she left my very old and delicate birth certificate untouched.
Do you wonder why Siberians have "masks?" Because they are all criminals. And Mr. Wild Dingo and I are harboring one. I have a sneaking suspicion she's trying to make a fake ID to get into club Siberian 54.
"Unfortunately, this does not taste like chicken."
Um, unfortunate for who, you furry felon?
"What? I think I improved it."
I have no idea how I'm going to tell the passport clerk, "the husky ate my passport" with a straight face. He's totally going to stamp a big F on my passport renewal form and send me home with a note to my mother.
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Let me know how the pups and I can love ya back!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."