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He's Making His List, Checking it Twice, He's Gonna Find Out...

He's Making His List, Checking it Twice, He's Gonna Find Out...

December 20, 2010
Posted in: Dogs | Reading Time: 4 minutes

... that two more made it to his naughty list.

First lets look at the criminal.


"What exatly do you want me to say about this Mom?"

A bold move so close to Christmas. Even for a Siberian.

As a yogi I believe that the universe sends us people and living things into our lives to reinforce our personal beliefs or teach us something.  When we were ready to rescue another dog, I refused to rescue a full German Shepherd, as much as I love the breed. I knew very little about dogs or GSDs but I believed is that GSDs were prone to hip dysplasia. And I did not want a dog with hip dysplasia. So we ended up with Loki, a GSD mix. Later the universe laughed at me, "Ha! You think getting a Siberian will keep you from facing your fears of hip dysplasia?  Here is Lovely Juno! She is here to teach you." O.K. I get that.

But I ask you Internet, just what is the universe trying to teach me with a dog that has masticatory addictions? Perhaps that one of us needs a 12-step program?

"Mom, this is just a gentle reminder to Pop not to leave us for so long again."
Mr. Wild Dingo had been gone all week and stuck twice in airport delays due to snow. I had to take him to work this morning and this is what I came home to. All of Mr. Wild Dingo's notebooks and mail, masticated.

"Santa is gonna hear about this? Are you serious? But you can't prove I did it! I mean, you didn't even catch me red-pawed."

"How about if I show him my better side of my pretty face?"

"What are you lookin' so smug over there for Big Boy? It's not like you're perfect."

She's right about Loki...For example, we ran into one of Frosty's cousins in Morges yesterday.

We didn't catch his name but Loki something to say.

Perhaps this offense wouldn't be so bad to dear old St. Nick, because you know, everyone knows that Frosty is a pansy anyway.

But then, while we were walking home, we ran into dear old Père Noël. And as we passed him, Loki gave him a polite sniff and we passed in peace. Then we turned around to say goodbye and this is what Loki did:

"Woof! Woof! Woof!"

He decided Père Noël looked suspicious and wanted him to know that he was watching him. Like Père Noël was the bad guy. Sigh.

But back to Juno. We had a hectic weekend. Mr. Wild Dingo lost all of it waiting at the airport in the Philippines and in Amsterdam and I spent it mopping up not one but two floods in the basement due to a burst pipe. It's not important how that happened but suffice it to say our weekend of going to Montreaux to see the famous Christmas market was killed. And this morning while busily putting the house back together and trying to get on the bike for a quick workout,  I inadvertently took out a Buon Viando sausage and put it on the stairs to bring up to the kitchen. Only I forgot to bring it up and went ahead with my work out. After the bike, I headed up to the yoga room and then I remembered the sausage. But it wasn't on the stairs anymore.

Here's what a Buon Viando meat sausage looks like when it's properly defrosting on my kitchen counter.

And here's what a Buon Viando Sausage looks like when Siberian takes it from the stairs where I accidentally left it, opens it and eats 3/4 of it frozen, including half the plastic packaging, in the living room.

That's two strikes against both dogs on the week of Christmas. It doesn't bode well for them does it? The sad thing about this is we have no fireplace to use up all the coal that they will surely get in their stockings.

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16 comments on “He's Making His List, Checking it Twice, He's Gonna Find Out...”

  1. Abby and Fi have long since given up on the naughty/nice thing. They're just planning on leaving Santa a long letter of explanation, as well as a bunch of dog biscuits for his Reindogs and a large glass of scotch for Santa (who will no doubt need it by the time he gets to our place...).

    Out of morbid (gross?) curiosity, does the plastic packaging on the sausage pass easily through the Siberian system?

    As for the mastication issues? You don't need a 12 step program. You need a large scotch. 😉 And Juno is just trying to teach Mr. Wild Dingo that he shouldn't be gone so long, even if it isn't exactly his fault that he got stuck in airports.

    Finally, no fireplace?!? I guess Sinterklaas (yeah, I know that's Dutch, but it sounds cool) will just have to come through the dog door! 😉

    -Dr. Liz, et al. (The 'et al.' are waiting for me to take them out to play in the snow/slush. I don't think there are enough dry towels in the universe for this excursion...)

  2. Woooo high paws Juno and Loki I've been doing a similar thing this week leading up to Christmas. Someone needs to tell them humans Santa is not real 🙂 I ripped one of the sofa arms to pieces. Needless to say I wasnt too popular like you either. Cant be helped when the humans leave us for such long periods of time.

    Here's hoping that the man in red (who is not real) still brings you lots of presents 🙂

    Khumbu 🙂

  3. LOL! I think the universe is trying to teach you about just how lovely a sibe sized crate is!

    Perhaps this is some sort of scheme to test Santa's character... "if he comes after we do THIS, than he must be pretty cool guy!" :p

  4. Such false accusations. You were actually wanting Mr. Wild Dingo to stay home more by going to work for Murphy, Inc. ( http://lifespentwagging.blogspot.com ) You just needed to practice those finely honed skills so that you could earn money by working for Murphy.

    Those humans are never grateful, even when you kept working at your task while eating lunch - not taking those out of office lunch breaks.

    Juno - we are here to help you.

    Loki - Dude - Peeing on a snowman. That is, oh yeah, something we have done. You go. Barking at Santa - you are on your own.

  5. As my dog Shiva no longer believes in Santa this threat does not deter her from random destruction. After last year when she got loads of presents, more than I received, despite the Great Shoe Disaster of 2009, convincing her that her behaviour would prevent such generosity just wasn't happening.


    Look at it this way, if Juno wasn't into masticatory annihilation of your things, you wouldn't have such hilarious photos to share!

  6. Hey Loki... Wanna come to my house and do.. THAT ... to a BUNCH of snowmen???? Drink lotsa water furst.
    Hummm somebuddy is gonna be shootin out some technicolor poops soon.

  7. I khan't believe WDW doesn't appreciate all the great blog material woo khreate fur her -

    I mean, life in Cheeeeeezeland is SO boring -


  8. hahahaha. Darwin just had a fit this past week. She was in at work with us when our bosses came around in Santa hats. She LOVES the bosses but the hats freaked her out and bark-fest commenced. Then we were out this weekend and happened to stop in an area that was having "Santa-con". Drunk Santas + scaredy dog = bark-fest round 2. Oi.

  9. I think the princess was getting back at MWD for staying away for so long. That is just unacceptable. And the water works in the house too? Oh man! Now, as for the sausage. I think this can only be interpreted as mom's secret guilt over not giving Juno the proper amount of noms and attentions. Poor thing. Reduced to eating sausage wrapper. No doubt to be seen again in about a day.

    As for Loki. What did he do wrong? Sure it was a bit duplicitous to wait until Santa's back was turned, but I can't blame him for being freaked out. That dude is weird.


  10. Mom says she has nothing to say here because she doesn't want to jinx herself. But we all think Juno earned herself a HULA certificate for sure.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  11. oh woo guys are SO not getting a visit from Père Noël, Cinter claus or Santa! Juno quick... hit the delete key. loki lift the leg on the computer.. umm. i guess at least woo got the sausage.

    yikes. maybe there's a naughty but i'm a crackah so this is as good as it gets list. nordude & me are on it!


  12. hello wild dingo its dennis the vizsla dog hay yoo no wot??? i am pritty shoor that juno seekretly visits my howse wile mama and dada ar gawn and shreds things and then i git blaymd for it!!! see it is not me at all!!! ok bye

  13. Oh, paws, goodness is so over-rated.
    jack & moo

    PS - Dear Mrs. wild dingo, meat left unattended has obviously been left for the Sibe. Those ARE the rules.

  14. We're catching up after being away. Let's see if we have this straight: Mr. WD leaves his notebooks and mail within reach and it's JUNO's fault it gets masticated? We don't think so. Then Mrs. WD leaves doggie sausage ON THE STAIRS and it's JUNO's fault it gets eaten? Puleeze! They're the pawrents; they're not supposed to be leading you into temptation and then blaming you for acting like a dog! We're sure there was coal in some stockings at Christmas, but it sure better not have been Juno's and Loki's!

    Jed & Abby

  15. This is ridiculous. Of course the squirrels shredded the package. And really, you are on the naughty list for expecting Juno to NOT eat the sausage. I mean, you left it right there for her. Naughty Mrs. Wild Dingo, not naughty Juno or Loki.


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