writer, warrior, whack-a-doodle

Father Christmas?

Father Christmas?

December 27, 2011
Posted in: Dogs, Mastheads | Reading Time: 2 minutes

Nothing makes me happier than to make Mr. Wild Dingo uncomfortable. So when our neighbor stopped me in our driveway Friday night to ask if Mr. Wild Dingo would like to be "Father Christmas" for his three children, I didn't hesitate:  "Yes of course he'll do it," I answered. Like I'm going to ask Mr. Wild Dingo his permission before I commit him to something so outside of his comfort zone.  I could already see him squirming. I mean, it's not like either of us is equipped to entertain any 2-legger under the age of 25. And yet, I felt a grinch-like smile form at the corners of my mouth as I pictured Mr. Wild Dingo in a red suit and struggling over what to say to the kid on his lap waiting for his present.

"Father Christmas? I don't care if you twinkle your nose or hand out presents. Ain't nobody looking as whack as you getting by without complete investigation from me!"

After many years of playing the role of Father Christmas to his kids, our neighbor, Guy, thought it would be a hoot if just this once he could be in the room at the same time. "Our Father Christmas speaks in an Irish accent," he told us. Well, that totally makes sense--given that the family is British and Swedish. So Mr. Wild Dingo spent the day practicing his Irish accent. Apparently, no extra stuffing was needed as Irish-accented Swedish Father Christmas' are rather trim.

"Princess, do you think we should let him in? I mean I don't see any presents."
"Big boy, he IS the present. He's your big chew toy for the evening. Go for it!"

All went well, and while the teenager knew who it was, the younger two were completely perplexed and a little weirded out by the Father Christmas with bushy brown eyebrows, who's accent wavered between Irish and American while struggling with all the Swedish names.

Loki on the other hand was delighted at having a life-size chew toy.


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12 comments on “Father Christmas?”

  1. Oh J, you are an evil woman and a sadist... but I like it!

    Btw, I thought Father Christmas is supposed to be erm.... fat but this one looks a bit on the slim side!

    Merry Christmas!

    Big hug,

    PS: We have the same laundry basket!

  2. Ahh. Torturing one's spouse is one of the true joys of marriage, I think! 😉 That said, this Father Christmas looks a bit more like the Spectre of Death in holiday costume. (Maybe the it's the peaked hood...) Hopefully Father Christmas was rewarded with a little aqua vitae for his trouble!

    -Dr. Liz, who is currently puzzling out patient records in the hopes of finally linking my database to the lab's database for all the lab results (like that's going to happen this week...).

  3. Well, at least the European Father Christmas doesn't have to slide down the chimney. We would have paid good noms to see that. Now you have some Good Neighbor points, too! Happy New Year, gang.

    Jed & Abby

  4. Boys... they really do love to be tortured by women.... really.
    ~Miss Moo

    All I can say is, that man's a keeper!
    ~Miss Moo's Mom

  5. I can picture the dogs wondering what the heck their dad was wearing. That must have been so much fun and was so nice of you guys to do that for the kids (even if you did it to torture Mr. Wild Dingo) LOL

  6. Did he ride a motorcycle over to the neighbor's house? My mom says when Santa came to visit her and her cousins at her grandparents house, he always rode a motorcycle to the door.


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