Nothing makes me happier than to make Mr. Wild Dingo uncomfortable. So when our neighbor stopped me in our driveway Friday night to ask if Mr. Wild Dingo would like to be "Father Christmas" for his three children, I didn't hesitate: "Yes of course he'll do it," I answered. Like I'm going to ask Mr. Wild Dingo his permission before I commit him to something so outside of his comfort zone. I could already see him squirming. I mean, it's not like either of us is equipped to entertain any 2-legger under the age of 25. And yet, I felt a grinch-like smile form at the corners of my mouth as I pictured Mr. Wild Dingo in a red suit and struggling over what to say to the kid on his lap waiting for his present.
"Father Christmas? I don't care if you twinkle your nose or hand out presents. Ain't nobody looking as whack as you getting by without complete investigation from me!"
After many years of playing the role of Father Christmas to his kids, our neighbor, Guy, thought it would be a hoot if just this once he could be in the room at the same time. "Our Father Christmas speaks in an Irish accent," he told us. Well, that totally makes sense--given that the family is British and Swedish. So Mr. Wild Dingo spent the day practicing his Irish accent. Apparently, no extra stuffing was needed as Irish-accented Swedish Father Christmas' are rather trim.
All went well, and while the teenager knew who it was, the younger two were completely perplexed and a little weirded out by the Father Christmas with bushy brown eyebrows, who's accent wavered between Irish and American while struggling with all the Swedish names.
Loki on the other hand was delighted at having a life-size chew toy.
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"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."