Don't practice your Olympic Ribbon Gymnastics routine with your dog's leash.
"WTF is going on? Did anyone cue any music? I haven't practiced my agility in ages!"
"Don't' worry Big Boy. This is just Pop's wacky leash walking style."
Do practice being a normal person walking her dogs.
"Sigh. That's so much better."
Don't play Cat's Cradle with your dog's leash.
"Pop, do you even have your learner's permit to drive us?"
"Daddy-O, isn't it obvious? So let's put it in cruise control and over ride that driver!"
Do promise your dogs a tasty reward for smiling for the camera.
"Princess, Mom says to smile, so let's smile!"
"Don't be such a kiss up Daddy-O. Hold out for the good stuff. It's a good thing she already said the magic words: Swiss Cheese!"
Don't try to force the husky to do anything she doesn't want to.
"Look, I told you. There isn't enough cheese, ice cream or baguettes in all of Switzerland to make me walk behind that Formosan German Shepherd!"
"Princess, I promise I won't cut the cheese!"
Do act smug and make the entire process look easy.
"Princess, walking Mom sure is a lot of work."
"Nonsense Big Boy. I've got her wrapped around my white paw."
No cash for the treat jar but you'd like to show the love? No problem! Connect with me on LinkedIn and endorse my creative writing skills. Let me know how the pups and I can love ya back!
"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"
"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."
"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."