"Your project is guaranteed to meet superior Siberian standards or I will fatally masticate it. You have my "woo" on that!"

"I keep your project safe from crows, coyotes, and flies. I prefer to be paid in salmon treats and tennis balls."

"I manage the treat jar & the staff's daily payroll of cookies and bones. The staff is excellent at math and let me know when I come up short."

"I write psychobabble. Sometimes it makes you a profit. Other times it makes you a prophet."