Juno Belle Starling

Juno Belle Starling

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Director of Quality Assurance

"Mastication isn't a crime. It's an art, a creative process, and a talent. Masticators are not criminals. We're just misunderstood artists." 

Items Masticated

Nicknames: Juicy, Juno Belle Jodhpurs, The Criminal, JBJ, JJ, Princess, Principessa

Born:  ~Augus 2007; Rescued by Wild Dingo: August 2008

Education: 

  • A.B.C. Certified, K9 Clinic, Santa Cruz, CA
  • Therapy Dog Certified, K9 Clinic, Santa Cruz, CA

Spirituality: Church of Cheeses & Life without Cheeses

History: Came to us 3 months after Loki when I went to a dog adoption fair. She, her mom, and her sister were caught by a dog catcher, running free, escaping their back yard. The owner could only afford the mother and left the 2 sisters. Sister was adopted. I fell for her the minute I saw her. A happy dog, until she met came home with us and met Loki. There she was sullen and depressed. Not interested in working like Loki at first. After 3 months, she developed a strange fear of Mr. Wild Dingo. We worked with her and she developed into a wonderfully obedient, happy dog who loves to work and do tricks. Though not nearly as "crisp" as Loki, she has much more personality and happiness when working and is always keen to work with either me or Mr. Wild Dingo. She became very sick in October 2009 with an undiagnosed fever. To this day we don't know if it was bacterial or viral. At that time, we discovered her hip dysplasia. We've treated it with acupuncture and underwater treadmill since, both in the USA and in Switzerland. Her x-rays show severe hip dysplasia but she never indicates either hip is worse so surgery is not recommended by any surgeon who sees her since she doesn't limp. She has gold bead implants done by a Chinese medicine vet to help keep inflammation at bay so she can use her legs normally. She still uses water treadmill 1-2x/month and will see osteopath or acupuncturist as needed. She adores Loki but is the alpha in the house. She's an alpha by sweetness and will get her way by being sweet and kind to either us or Loki. Her personality makes up for all the shoes, books and various items that she loves to destroy in the house. She's not a perfect house dog for that reason, but if we're neat and put things away, she's fairly good. It's always hilarious to watch her carry "contraband" around the house, such as a box of bandaids, a shoe or a book. She absolutely loves to kiss her handlers.

Despite her landing into a good life, Juno has led a life of crime. Rehabilitation is a life-long process for such criminals as Juicy.

 

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Juno's Crimes of Mastication Rap Sheet

Or: If you're thinking of getting a husky, read these stories.

Same Circus, Same Clowns

Yup. We've been in this rodeo before. Over ten years now. It never gets old. Of course, the clown (unidentified, but we'll call him MWD) rewarding the criminal with cookies (seen in his hand) may have something to do with crime rates at Wild Dingo. I'm no sociological statistician--just the ringmaster at this circus.  I […]

April Fools!

I guess the joke is on me. Sigh. It's like I've never owned a Siberian Husky before.

She's Still Got it!

The other day, I came home to find not one, but two pairs of leather shoes, completely in tact, sitting exactly where I left them,  right under Juno's nose. I thought that maybe she had finally grown out of her mastication crimes and it made me kind of sad.

Case Closed

I woke up this morning and discovered one of my Crocs went missing. Never fear Internet! Inspector Jodhpurs was on the case!

Meditation or Mastication?

"As far as I see it, I did you a favor. According to this Yoga Journal, it says that five minutes of meditation per day can decrease stress and improve overall health. Obviously, the editors made a mistake. They meant five minutes of mastication per day. I could even argue for more than five minutes. […]

Déjà Shu

Last week, I posted a photo of yet another book mastication on Facebook. Hours later, I went downstairs and found one of Mr. Wild Dingo's brand new leather flip flops, torn apart. So he threw it away when he got home. We went out to dinner that night and came home to find that his […]

Green Machine

Many don't know this, but Juno is an avid recycler.  She was happy to discover Switzerland's strict recycling rules, such as separating all plastics, aluminum, glass and cardboard into separate bins. The second week I was here, I made a big faux pas by tossing some used paper towels into the green trash bin without […]

Husky Hygiene

"Halitosis is a husky faux pas. Would it kill you to buy these in liver flavor?"

Oops! She Did it Again!

"Don't blame me. I was just wrapping your present."

Should We Clean This Up?

Or should we just move? This is just a small peak into the tornado that seemed to blow INTO my home the other day. Someone TP'd the downstairs foyer as well. Three rolls of toilet paper unrolled and chewed up along with only one flip-flop. Loki's so disgusted he can't even turn to look at the […]

Hot Stock Tip

Wild Dingo predicts a bull market in the flip flop industry. Timing: 24-hours after Mr. Wild Dingo finds this latest flip flop mastication. Zappos stock headed for sharp gains. (Sorry Mr. Wild Dingo)

A Taste for Leadership

Juno gave us yet another book review. "This book says 'what you cannot enforce, do not command.'  That sounds like good advice, huh Pop?"

The Methodology of Shoe Tasting

Recently, I went to a wine tasting in Lausanne. Scratch that. It was a wine appreciation because they served hors d'ouvres with each wine to help understand how wine flavor can be balanced with food. I don't know much about how to taste wine or pair it with food, so it was a great experience.  Who knew […]

Soupçons

Last night we went to a French play, Soupçons, directed by our French teacher's son. Our French teacher is delightful. She almost makes me want to be a better student. Soupçons is a play based on the drama Staircase, a 9-hour film documenting the trial of Michael Peterson, accused of murdering his wife in North Carolina. […]

This and That

  There is no story, just a few photos of this and that over the past month. When our friends were here we visited the cathedral in Lausanne. It was nighttime, so I didn't have to risk being kicked out. Another embarassing moment averted. 

Siberian Justice

Earlier this month, Mr. Wild Dingo and I spent some time with visiting friends, touring as many of Switzerland's attractions as possible. On one of the days we visited Chillon Castle, a historic monument in Montreaux that was constructed under several periods in history: the Savoy (11th century), the Bernese era (16th century) and the Vaudois […]

He's Making His List, Checking it Twice, He's Gonna Find Out...

... that two more made it to his naughty list. First lets look at the criminal.   "What exatly do you want me to say about this Mom?"

Je N'Aime Pas Dire Au Revoir

  The TravelMarx left on Friday, after spending two extra days being snowed in with airport and airline shut downs. I really hated seeing them leave. Yes, those are my new boots I'm modeling in the photo. Don't worry. I already bought another pair by now. One specifically for dog walking.  I'm thinking I need at […]

Breaking the Mastication Fast

So yesterday I was getting ready to write a post to mock all the Dansko Pool Players, calling them "amateurs,"  because who did they think I was? A new Siberian owner? Then Mr. Wild Dingo and I came home from our anniversary dinner to this: Wait, it's my yoga block. And it's in the foyer. Hmm. […]

Dansko Betting Pool

Alert readers will note a new feature in the right side bar: The Dansko Betting Pool. The Betting Pool is now open to take bets on the number of days my Dansko shoes survive.  The house (me) bets that shoes will last for 180 days or more. If they don't make it to that fateful day, […]

How Rome Tastes

I left the house for 15 minutes. Fifteen lousy minutes. Not a lot can happen in 15 minutes, right? "They say historians cannot fully explain the rise or fall of Rome. Soon, they will say that about Siberian mastications."

Settling In

No rest for the weary.  This week, we got the wireless router working (it actually works if you do NOT follow the installation directions), received our air shipment with our clothing, and got the cable TV entertainment system working. Mr. Wild Dingo has been traveling on day trips throughout Europe, while I unpacked and walked the dogs, shopped […]

We Interupt this Swiss Programming for a Masticatory Break

I drove Mr. Wild Dingo to the airport yesterday. Nothing like arriving in a new country for 2 days and throwing me to the lions with "drive here and go there and speak to these people."  After the stress of driving on the highways and getting honked at in traffic circles, I came home to […]

What Would Socrates Say?

I came home the other day and found Juno had done a little light reading. So I asked her what she learned. "The unexamined book is not worth reading. But it sure is worth chewing."

When the Cat's Away, the Dogs Will...

... have pillow fights. "Nothing says "I missed you" like pillow entrails. I cared enough to shred the very best."

Going Postal

Juno went through the mail today. She found her vet bills. "These vet bills were mailed third class! I ain't comin' on that tab."

The Husky Ate My Passport

  Seriously. Why should I be surprised? After all, she also ate my Mini-Cooper. This time, I put my shoes away AND hid the trash can. I left my important identity file folder out on top of my desk because I need to renew my passport. She helped herself to the folder. When I got home, it looked like […]

WTF? Wednesday

Somepup was clearly not happy with the sales at Lands End. "I'm a rescue dog. I rescue people from the over-commercialization of Christmas."

Masticatory Party

This time Internet, it was Mr. Wild Dingo's fault. He left the shoes defenseless against the perp. Two of them are his shoes. She collects them outside the mudroom for inspection of masticability. She prefers leather and animal made shoes and has avoided destroying the synthetic stuff. Nothing but the real deal for my masticator! "Ya, […]

Another One Bites the Dust

O.K. dog owners out there, I think you need to decide how to fix this situation. Should I be given a chocolate covered pomegranate every time I put my shoes away before I leave the house or should I be given a correction on the prong collar or e-collar when I forget to put my […]

Storm and Post-Storm Activities

The Internet Service is back! Woo hoo!  Hmm... Now what to do? What to do? Shall I start by catching up on work? Or shall I start by blogging about what we did during the two days with no power (though we have a kick-ass generator)  and no Internet?  Silly question! During an emergency, a Siberian […]

A Husky with a Shoe Fetish

For the record, this is not where I leave my shoes. "Um, seriously mom, your taste in shoes needs to change, and fast." Just what I need. A Siberian with fashion sense.

I Thought I Could Trust Her by Now

Silly me. Score: Shoes: 0, Juno: 17

Bonding with Blue Tape

It's a well-known fact that Juno and Mr. Wild Dingo's relationship hasn't been easy. According to Juno, Mr. Wild Dingo is potentially a bane of Sibe’s everywhere, and on a mission specifically to steal her gumdrop nose. At the first sign of Mr. Wild Dingo, she’s often seen retreating into a fortress of solitude: any […]

Random Dog Tails

I wonder if I should get used to seeing things around my house chewed up now that I have a Siberian Husky. It seems while Juno was practicing downward dog the temptation of recycled rubber was too much for her to resist. She gave it the low rating of two small nibbles. To you and […]

A Husky Ate My Mini

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, I did have dingo once. And you know what they eat. So now I have a dog that eats cars. As long as she doesn’t move onto eatin’ bars and guitars, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about husky rapture. To be honest, I’m more bummed […]

Bad Dogs and the Women Who Love Them

That’s the book I’ll someday write. But for now, I’m starting a support group: Women Addicted to Bad Dogs. Me: “Hello. My name is Julie. I’m a Bad Dogaholic.” Group: “Hello Julie.” How can something as sweet as this: Do something as evil as this?

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